love me

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 17:30:02 GMT

fuck i got my period and i didnt bring and thing so now im using the nurse's shit and its not gonna last so i took 2 from them....and i have really bad cramps so i have to take some meds so that i can make it through 7th and 8th hour and my dt after school.....which is fine caz chris is back and hes coming into dt with me and tree so its all good.....then i think hes coming over to help my study for geometery caz he seems to know what hes doing when i ask him for help.....which is kind of weird but w.e. at least hes smart....even though he never applies himself to his school work....i was talking to his mom the other day and i guess that when he took the SAT he got like a college level score....which is awsome...its kind of like me if i actually applie myself i get really good grades like what im doin right now.....i have A's and B's in all of my classes which my mom is gonna be really happy with....but of course like always geometrey is fucking my over in the ass royaly caz i have a fucken D which i really really need to get up my 2nd mid-terms otherwise i dont get my license and i really need to stop fucking around with skipping classes caz my mom is talking about sending me to hamilton if i keep doing it....even though if i went to hamilton i would be getting A's in all my classes caz elmbrook is one of the highest standard schools in the area...and hamilton has really low standards.

but class is over so i g2g.<3byes

ahhhh

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 19:09:50 GMT

ahhhh i think im gonna die i need to see chris right now!!!! i miss him so much!!!! i fucken hate this school for fucken suspending him!!!!!! and i fucken hate nick for getting him suspended......hes such a fucken asshole......he can fucken go eat his fucken shit and burn in hell.......i swear to god!!!!! hes such a fucken loser......no one should be friends with that kid caz he just gets everyone introuble thats around him......i wanna fucken gog his eyes out and slit his throat and watch him slowly die. FUCK NICK!!!!

WTF!!!

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 18:47:19 GMT

DOES ANYONE READ THIS?????

What a Girl Really Wants in a Guy

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 21:26:14 GMT

1. DON'T flirt with other girls. It makes us feel like we're not good enough for you. We feel like we did something wrong so you are making up for it with another girl.

2. Even if you're not going out, heck, even if you're not friends, don't say bad stuff about us. | We could be the meanest people in the world to you, but most of the time we're joking and we think you're serious. You haven't seen mean until you say something bad about us. We have evil sides and we're not afraid to use them.

3. We're not toys. | Don't just have your fun with us and drop us. We're serious about things. That's just mean and we'll spend days wondering what we ever did wrong.

4. Put your arms around our waist firmly but gently, holding us close to you. | If you can, smell our hair! For most girls, we try to succeed in making it smell and look good! Plus, we know you love the smell, why try to sneak around?

5. If you've done something wrong, fess up. | Tell us before we have to ask you about it. Trust me, when we ask, we'll be twice as angry, and that's just if you tell the truth. We know. We don't guess when we confront you. We have our connections, and we know what's going on. Lie to us and you can pretty much send your death wish.

6. When we say we love you, we mean it. | We're not willing to tell just anyone that. Our hearts are gentle and it's very hard to trust guys, and it takes time. Don't worry if you tell us you love us and we don't say it back right away. We do, we're just thinking about how sweet it was that you said it first. And if it takes a day or two, we're not deciding. We're figuring out how we can prove it.

7. If we have guy friends, we love how you hold us close when we talk to them. | We think it's cute when you get all jealous, but don't overdo it. We're not dumb, we're not gonna mess around. We're not flirting, so don't blame us later. Now, if some guy friend of our's is flirting with us, then you have every right to overreact and kick his ass.

8. Anything you'd want us to know about you... know about us, too. We'll memorize every fact. | We'll have our friends quiz us on how many homeruns you had in a season, what your favorite color is... But it's gonna hurt if we know so much about us and all you can say is, "Uhh..." and make a guess.

9. If our eyes are shiny, we're either really happy or we're about to cry. | Look at our smile and the way our face is. Is it the same way it is when you make us laugh? If not, we're going to cry. At that point, if you can tell, turn us so that we're facing you and wrap your arms around us tight so that we feel like nothing could harm us at all while we're there, and stroke our hair. When we cry, often we will bury our heads in your shoulder. If we don't, wipe away our tears. Whisper gently in our ear. Tell us it's okay, even if you don't know what we're crying about.

10. Know that we like it when you tickle us. | It makes us laugh and reminds us that you know that exact spot that makes us cry we're laughing so hard. It's cute.

11. Surprise us. | Call before you're at the door, make sure you have good timing. Tell us to look out the window, or open the door. We'll see you and hang up and run to your side. Bring flowers for now reason. Give us candy when we're down, that always works! Show up just to kiss us and see us smile.

12. Show us how much you love us. | That doesn't mean show us how bad you want to have sex. We're not walking beds. (So, in other words, we're not just easy lays walking around.) We love it when you whisper in our ear, or breath on our neck. We like it when you kiss under our jaw down our neck, resting your head on our shoulder. We feel like we're repaying you for every time we rest on you.

13. We love to look at the stars. | Plan a night to surprise us and don't tell us where you're taking us no matter how much we may beg. Take a picnic dinner, candles, a lighter, plastic glasses and sparkling cider. Don't forget to bring lots and lots of coffee for us! We love that stuff. Bring 3 blankets. One for the ground when we lay on top of you in your arms, one for over the top of both of you, and another that you sneak on top of her during the night, just in case she gets cold. Hold us close and let us look up at the stars in your arms. If we fall asleep, don't wake us up. Stay the night with us right there, and let us use you for a pillow. Get comfortable, but try your hardest not to disturb our sleep, because if we open our eyes we'll tell you to take us home.

14. If your friends think it's cool to have sex, it doesn't mean we do. | We have plans for our lives, usually. And if not, we're still not ready to handle that kind of pressure. Being in a relationship is a lot of responsibility itself, and having sex just means you have to be more committed. Wait until we're ready. If you pressure us, we're going to get mad and we might not ever have sex with you. (Another way to put it: We'll dump you, no matter how much it hurts.)

15. Sing to us in the quiet. | Even if you're horrible. Especially if you're good. We love to hear you. If you're bad at it, it just shows that you would show us anything, even if it's not the most pleasurable thing you would choose to do. It shows us you're open with us and are willing to do whatever we want. In the quiet it comforts us and reminds us you're there, and it really turns us on, and you're likely to get a kiss.

16. Dance with us. | With or without music. Even in the funniest of places. If we announce we love the song, that's your big hint that we want you to ask us to dance. And even if we don't say that, offer anyways. The worst thing we could do is say no.

17. Don't embarrass us. | If you act immature in front of us, we will scold you like your mother would. We'll chew you out and rip you a new one, telling you exactly how much we never want to be seen with you. If, in fact, you do embarrass us publicly, after we're completely through chewing you out, say you're sorry. Tell us you didn't mean to embarrass us and ask for our forgiveness. Then, once we sigh, put your hands on our shoulders and let them slide to rest on our hips. DON'T try to kiss us. Wait for us to be ready. Who knows how long we'll be angry.

18. Meet our parents right off the bat. | We love it when you include our family. If you get the chance, refuse to go out with us until you meet our parents. Figure out a day when you can come home with us and have dinner with the rents... Be Mr. Polite to the parents. Shake hands with her dad firmly and cooly. Shake her mother's hand first and be gentle. Do remember, she's cooking your food. Smile at them and smile at her afterward. If she has siblings, be Mr. Perfect. They'll love you if you tell them something they don't know. And if you show them how to do something, they'll love you forever. Keep in mind that they look up to her, so if you play your cards right, they'll look up to you, too. If they're older, they're sure to be protective. They might not appear it at first, but they care deeply who their younger sister is with. If it's a brother, be nice and polite and show him without action exactly how much you want to care for her. Prove to her whole family why you should be with her. Ask her dad. Make sure it's alright with him. Then, when you get the okay, kiss her hand and ask her to a date you've previously planned in front of everyone.

19. Pay for her. | She'd offer to pay for half and even all of it. Don't let her. Call it your treat. Even if you pay every time, it means that we have more money to spend on those little gifts we love to get you. Like those photo albums we love to decorate and put pictures of the two of you together. Those do cost money. And the cologne we get you for Christmas or your birthday? Yah, that's real stuff right there. It ain't cheap!

20. Last, but not least and the most important of all, love her. | With all of your heart, love her. Love her like there's no one else out there for you, because as far as you know, there isn't. Don't doubt our unconditional love for you. Kiss us like you've never kissed before. Hold us like no one could fit more perfectly in your arms. Love us like no one could fill that hold that we do any better. Look past the flaws that we constantly point out and even reject them. When we say we look fat or ugly, reject it instantly and remind us how beautiful we are. Point out something about us you love. Think about her before anyone else.

word/excel

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 17:55:51 GMT

alright so everytime chris skips a class he gets yelled at by his mom and gets grounded another week and cant do shit....so guess what he did today...he skipped his 5th hr class to go out and have a cig.....im like wtf.....knowing it hes not gonna be able to go to homecoming now....caz hes a fucken dumbass....and wanna fucken kill him.....hes always fucken grounded and its really pissing me off and he can never do anything with me....i ready to just give up on him it doesnt even feel like were dating outside of school......i mean usually when u have a boyfriend/girlfriend u hang out with them outside of school.....and i have hung out with chris for almost 3weekends now and we plan something but he tells me either that day or the day before that he cant go.....i really dont know what to do anymore.....i love him but hes screwing me over....i just dont know anymore with him....he better straighten up or im dumping his ass.....which i really hope it doesnt come to caz i love him so much and i dont know what i would do with out him.

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 18:46:01 GMT

well tonite im no longger goin to the game at central caz i dont really feel like it games r really really boring.....so i think me and tree r gonna plan a girls nite.....but w.e......chris is coming over after school and then i have to take him home by 6.but after that im pretty much free.....then tomorrow i have al's walk and run then im goin to chris' after that and then im goin to a motocross race with him.....so i wont be home till late saturday nite....then i have to wake up early once again on sunday to go to work and work with some chick that ive never met caz amanda has arch......oh well theni im goin home and sleeping off the weekend probably but im sure if someone calls i can do something sunday after work....i really wanna see a movie so let me know if u want to go......anyways im off caz i really gotta get some of this work done ppl in my class r starting to pass me sooooo i wanna stay ahead of everyone caz im cooler then everyone else...haha not really.byes<3333

grrr

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 18:06:58 GMT

idk.....i went to chris' house last nite.....it was alright.....his mom was really bitchy and like telling him hes stupid and disrpective and that hes not gonna graduate on time.....but i guess shes actually starting to like me....she was really nice......

i work today after school from 4-7 at kopps EVERYONE COME VISIT ME!!! PLEASE!!!!

.....anyway im sitting in this class room where kids r taking a test and im sitting here listening to music and typing on the internet its really funny....and im talking to guy at the same time.....I MISS GUY....hes awsome.....hes kind of changed now that hes graduated.....but hes still crazy

.....i have english next hour and then IM OUT FOR THE DAY AND I GET A CIGERATTE!!!

this song is awsome......i love being able to listen to music i just wish that we could listen to music during all working periods and during passing times....it really sucks....i love music.....ive been listening to music a lot lately......theres a lot of meaning to it

Awaken

Stripped of life,alone
In the midst of something that I
Want to play with your evil inside
wanting, letting go, of what never could be again
Lost and alone
Imprisoned now inside your mind
With the way you tried
To destroy me again
You were waiting and living for no one
With the way you tried
To completely refuse all your life

Feed on nothing
You'll never live up to me

Awaken you
With a little evil inside
Feed on your nothing
You'll never live up to me
I've stricken you
Feed on your nothing
And you'll never live up to me

There isn't a thing that I can do
Watching the whole thing just wash away
Making me long
Making you strong

Awaken you
With a little evil inside
Feed on your nothing
You'll never live up to me
I've stricken you
Feed on your nothing
And you'll never live up to me

ADSHGFOAHGKNV

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 19:13:52 GMT

yeah im in study hall right now and im getting out of school early today caz i talked my mom into letting me get out with chris when he leaves.....even though its only 10mins earlier.....all i know is that she needs to chill the fuck out and needs to get a life....caz she was flipping out that i called her to ask her to get out 10 MINS EARLIER i mean come on how sad is that.....anyway i managed to talk her into letting me get out ^_^ but now she said that i have to be nice to her caz i havent according to her....we thats suppose to mean.....because i sit in my room and dont talk and just listen to music and talk on the phone....wtf is up with that? idk anymore with her....i give up......so today when i came downstairs and checked the computer ben left me a message saying that i was lazy caz i was sleeping i thought it was funny....caz i am!!!!^_^

ive been really depressed lately and really moody but i have no clue y.....idk.

i think im gonna start writing in my journal more....but just at school during study hall so dont count on me updating after 1st semster caz i dont have a study hall 2nd semster and i hate using the computer downstairs caz my mom and everyone is always sitting in there and i hate being downstairs I LOVE MY ROOM!!! if anyone has a computer that they want to get rid of please let me know i just started working at kopps so i can try and get the money....idk how the pay is yet i mean i make $5.30per hour but idk well see how much that adds up to and on top of it i have to save up for a car..... BUT LET ME KNOW....i rather have a labtop but desktops work too.

well i have 10mins left in the period....what shall i do????

well right now im sucking on this juice pouch that i bought from MRS.GROVE.

now im......

listing to anthem-blink-182
changing the song
now its on anything right-P.O.D
but the best song is on right now
ashes to ashes-damageplan feat. jerry cantrell
from my punisher cd!!!!!

w.e im gonna get ready to go now caz i have 3 mins left.

byes.<3

p.s. sry amanda for changing the after school plans I LOVE YOU!!! YOUR MY FAVORITE!!!

blah

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 14:38:58 GMT

well im in notetaking right now and we just got done with the test that we had to take today. i only have on senior in my class and the fucken bitch wont let her leave even though theres a bunch of seniors in the hall anyway and she has nothing else to do caz its her LAST DAY!!lol but w.e the hours almost over. i just kind of feel bad for her.

well im so not ready for the science test that i need to take today.grrrrr and im not ready to clean my locker out today either i have so much shit in it and i dont have anything to bring it home in today caz i didnt know about it!!!!

well the damn network isnt working again so i have to sign off so they can restart it like always.

lul<3

dad

Fri, 27 May 2005 14:31:52 GMT

yea so i got an email from my dad that kind of pissed me off. ill be writing back to him and ill post it later on.

hey kid i know your busy w school& drv ed but i would have thought you would have called me or e mailed me by now but i guess i'm just not that important to you. well just in case you might care my surgery went well but i will need more on my back now & possibly on my rotater cuff cause it may have torn when they strapped me down to the operating table.so i get to take alot of pain meds cause everything hurts so bad and i can't do anything except watch fn tv.oh boy don't i have a great life.any way even though you don't or won't find time for me i still love the hell out of you and miss you something feirce!!!! well i'll let you get back to your life and i'll get back to my busy schedule.lul dad

notetaking

Fri, 13 May 2005 14:42:09 GMT

well lets see we have a sub again because mrs. jacbos is gone i guess caz her daughter is graduating from college or something like that. LOOK OUT HERE COMES HELL!!(to where every shes going). she always fuck askes me to stay after fucken class and she says the same damn thing everytime.
"you have a bad aditude in my class and u need to leave that at the door" well fuck that caz all i ever to is sit in my damn desk and keep my mouth shut so i dont know how the fuck thats bad.

anyway i want to bed last nite at almost 2 because of the damn fashion history project caz i saved it for 2days before it was due. well i probally could of gotten it done a lot earlier if chris would stop calling me almost every hour and then end up talkin to him for almost 2hrs. oh well i love to help friends in need.(thats the way i am! need help just come to me)

shit bells gonna ring in like 3mins and i still have to turn everything in and post this.lol this computers r so fucken slow so it will probably take like 2mins to do that.

Tue, 10 May 2005 03:00:26 GMT

today really sucked i broke 2 of my promises to myself. it was goin so well and then today came along. ahhhhh fuck life. i just dont care anymore. i mean really dont, i could die tomorrow or tonite and have no regrates what so ever!!!!

fuck mrs. jacbos....fuck school.....fuck ken.....fuck my family.....and most of all fuck myself!!!!!

im just so fucken sick of everything. ahhhhh i hate everyone.

"brittany when ur not happy no ones happy" "brittany when ur sad it makes me sad"

......you know what fuck u well i garb ahold of my feelings and please u instead, caz i just cant have my own fucken feelings about anything i have to have everyone else's and make everyone else happy. i fucken sick of having to put a fake act for all of u!!!! and when im depressed and showing it stop saying shit like whats wrong maybe i can help if u just tell me whats wrong.....well fuck off caz i dont wanna fucken talk about it, and it wont fucken help talking about it either.

sry

Mon, 09 May 2005 14:39:01 GMT

hey everyone im really really sry about this morning in the hallway. some of u may not know what happen and i really dont feel like talking about it either. im just having a really really hard time with everything right now. im gonna try to be better through out the day because ik when im not bouncy and happy i bring everyone else down with me which i dont want. i want everyone to be happy and not worry about me at all, and please dont ask me wants wrong because its really hard to explain, and i really dont know who i can talk to anymore. ik that ur all there for me and thank you for that, but i just dont know who to turn to anymore.(no one take this personally). i love you all for being there for me when i do need u but right now i just wanna be in my own world. ill try not to show how im feeling like i did today so that i dont bring everyone else down caz thats the last thing i want. again im sry for what happen and for this whole day, but thank u for being there.

love you all

chaicgo!!

Wed, 04 May 2005 17:26:06 GMT

well right now im in the apple store in chicgo. its not that great here i thought that it would be a lot funnier then this but its pretty cool caz i get to spend the day out of school and with amanda. but w.e! its gonna be a long ass day caz im bored already.

oh and the ppl arent as different from milw. yea maybe their more classy and look richer but hey w.e the brookfield bitches dont compare to anyone here. there not thaqt nice here. weve only had like 3ppl in 10 stores talk and be nice to us.

well idk amanda is on the computer next to me typing in lj also. pretty cool im in chicgo and typing on a damn apple computer. YAY!!!!

Well last nite was great with marc but i feel really bad caz i think that i might have gotten him in trouble. DUDE THERES A CAR ACCENTED!!!! haha losers

Sat, 30 Apr 2005 19:31:30 GMT

havent wrote for a long time been busy. right now im by my dads just talkin to ppl on aim. lol almost forgot this account caz ive only used it once. well i cant say to much caz my dad keeps lookin over my shoulder. bbl when i get home.

lul

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 22:22:38 GMT

y does life have to be like this. fuck it i think im just gonna ask this guy out already does everyone think i should? leave me some comments

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 00:04:20 GMT

just a test entry!!!! well heres my new lj username!!! everyone add me!!!